O Be Careful, Little Mouth

I've had a "blog" percolating inside my head for a couple of weeks. When I saw a post on FaceBook this morning, it just poured out.

YOUR LIFE IS A MINISTRY.

PEOPLE ARE WATCHING YOU

WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT.

Once upon a time, long long ago, Tom and I spent every Wednesday night with our little granddaughter (now turning 21). As months went by, she began to talk. Growing up in a largely adult environment, she had quite a vocabulary. And in addition, with a Hispanic Dad and an Anglo Mom, she was bi-lingual, responding in the language used to address her.  I remember saying "thank you" to her when handing her a cookie; trying to get her to repeat it back to me.  After a few weeks I commented to Tom that while she wasn't saying "thank you", she WAS saying the same word each time, apparently her own version of thank you.  Then our exchange student from Ecuador arrived and explained to us...she's saying "gracias".  Our ears just weren't attuned to catch that.

Time passed and one day I heard her say, "well actually....."  Something in the cadence of her delivery caught my attention. I didn't realize how frequently I prefaced my comments that way. Seeing, observing, imitating...(scary!)

As children, my sister Kathy and I had a blue record player with a manual arm and a selection of discs. My recollection is that the "artist" was known as Susie Sunshine but I was unable to locate that on Google. I did, however, find the words to one of the songs we listened to over and over again.

O Be Careful, Little Eyes 

O be careful little eyes what you see
O be careful little eyes what you see
There's a Father up above
And He's looking down in love
So, be careful little eyes what you see

O be careful little ears what you hear
O be careful little ears what you hear
There's a Father up above
And He's looking down in love
So, be careful little ears what you hear

O be careful little hands what you do
O be careful little hands what you do
There's a Father up above
And He's looking down in love
So, be careful little hands what you do

O be careful little feet where you go
O be careful little feet where you go
There's a Father up above
And He's looking down in love
So, be careful little feet where you go

O be careful little mouth what you say
O be careful little mouth what you say
There's a Father up above
And He's looking down in love
So, be careful little mouth what you say.

It's the "little mouth" that has been in my thoughts a great deal.  Whether the words are actually spoken, or are communicated by fingertips on a keyboard, they have such power to impact others. The result may be positive and uplifting or may be depressing or hurtful.  I know I've observed this in posts to my FaceBook account. There are some folks whose messages are so frequently negative that my inclination is to delete them. For me, that is counter-balanced by posts from others who post about the blessings in their lives...their children, their answered prayers, the unexpected blessings. I count on those positive infusions.

Among the collection of Christmas cards I received this year, I noted one recurring comment: I enjoy your Updates and Blogs. I think I'm being "cyber stalked" by people who "follow" me but don't post a response. It goes without saying that when we post something online, there is no way to control who may eventually read it. Hence, "be careful little mouth what you say."  

Let the words of my mouth be for your pleasure, and the meditation of my heart before you, Lord Jehovah, my helper and my Savior.                                                     Psalm 19:14 Aramaic Bible in Plain English        

                                                                                                       

Living my DREAM

October 31, 2013
Mesa, AZ

So blessed to be spending a few days with my Arizona family.  I was able to fly over in time to attend the annual Jasmine Circle block party/potluck on Monday night; to renew friendships with folks who have been neighbors here for...well, let's just say "for a long time."  Of the 21 houses in this cul de sac, I think THREE of the families attending were here when Tom and I came in the spring of '89...so I'm "an old timer". Nevertheless, this is a very stable community with many families having been here for 15 - 20 years. We've watched one generation grow up, graduate, marry and they are now back with their children.

I suppose that's also true at my house.  Lexxie is 9 and Leila will be 6 next week--my great grands! It's so astounding! The kids keep growing but the parents/grandparents still look the same.  Good genes and clean living...with a little assistance from a hairdresser. LOL

What I wanted to write about is an incident that occurred on my flight over.  In introductions with my seat companion, the customary question was asked..."Are you coming or going?
 Hmmm..."Both"  Which begs the explanation that I have a place in California and another in Arizona. The young, professional man instantly exclaimed: "You are living my DREAM life. May through October in California and the rest of the year in Arizona."

"Dream" is a prominent theme for me.  I have mottos and stencils decorating my house along with Native American dream catchers. Surely some of this emphasis dates back to our Amway days and listening to the motivational messages of Zig Ziegler; to which is added Mary Kay encouragements such as "if you can dream it, you can do it."

I have a bucket list of what I consider to be fantasies, hopes, wishes~~dreams.  The conversation brought home to me that what I consider to be ordinary, normal and common-place truly is magical.  To be retired, with freedom to spend my days helping others, is dream-worthy. To enjoy good health and reasonable physical stamina is already a fantasy for some of my friends.  

My "Ah ha" moment has triggered reflection on the many blessings in my life; the reality of "dreams" that I haven't even dreamed.

Scarecrows, sweatshirts and baked apples...

Friday, October 11, 2013

It's officially FALL...and I'm hearing HAPPY reports to that effect from various sources. We've had some rain here on the coast with a dusting of snow in the higher elevations. I always enjoy getting back to the jeans and sweatshirt temps.  While my girlies were here from AZ over the weekend we hung "black" lights along the edge of my lanai (look kinda pinkish to me) and put the scarecrow decorations in the front yard so I'm progressing into the season.

Difficult to believe it's already almost the middle of October! Very much looking forward to a visit from Maria and a friend, also named Maria, from Ecuador in just about a month. I love it that she has business that brings her north at least once a year.

Nichole, Nina, Lexxie and Leila were here for a last of the season beach visit on the 5th & 6th. Tamara took her girls to Disneyland the last weekend in September and I met up with them for lunch on that Sunday. The week before that my sister Virginia was visiting from CO, and the weekend before that Derek & Anna, Chris & Melissa were camping at the beach. 

Woven throughout the visiting time, Mary Lou has been occupied with pick-ups and deliveries. Some days she has Nancy with her; and some days she needs my help. Keeps us both busy.
We spent 3 days emptying an "empty" house; taking out 3 truck/trailer loads. Then we helped move one of her military families...5 "working" days that week!! When we are allowed to take 
only what is needed, that's "easy" but when we do "clean outs" we end up with all kinds of bits and pieces that have to be sorted through, sometimes more than once. There will be food items, recycle bags (cans and bottles), houseplants, clothing for AmVets, partial bottles of laundry soap, hand soap and shampoo...and the list goes on.

Like a bombshell, into this domestic chaos, came news that one of my Church friends has been diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer which has metastized into her spine and scalp. It is a very aggressive cancer and fast-moving. To  my praying friends, I request your prayers for this family as, without a miracle, their time together is short.

How appropriate, then was this devotional thought yesterday:  

  TRUST ME ENOUGH to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the Light of My everlasting Love. My Love-Light never dims, yet you are often unaware of my radiant Presence.  When you project  yourself into the future, rehearsing what you will do or say, you are seeking to be self-sufficient: to be adequate without My help. This is a subtle sin--so common that it usually slips by unnoticed.

  The alternative is to live fully in the present, depending on Me each moment. Rather than fearing your inadequacy, rejoice in my abundant supply.  Train your mind to seek My help continually, even when you feel competent to handle something by yourself.  Don't divide your life into things you can do by yourself and things that require My help. Instead, learn to rely on Me in every situation.  This discipline will enable you to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently.

In a moment...in the twinkling of an eye

September 20, 2013

“Back in the day” I kept my calendar in a leather-bound book. It also had pages for important medical information, addresses of friends, and even pockets for business cards, stamps and coins. I remember this clearly as I recently resurrected this relic of by-gone days.  Despite the passage of time I can still review Tom’s medical issues and the dates on which we visited certain doctors (as well as my personal information).  The first edition had a 1” center ring but I later expanded to one with a 2” center ring…which eventually became ponderous for carrying on a daily basis.

With the advancing complexity of Tom’s health, I opted to “upgrade” to electronics. My choice was a Tungsten Palm.  I thought I’d achieved nirvana. I could track all the appointments in color coding, record information from each doctor in his medical team and backup the data with my desktop computer.  Additionally it could accommodate an extensive address book and so, over time, I input not only the doctors’ addresses and phone numbers but also my friends’ names, and birthdates.  The Palm was even able to differentiate between my medical, professional and personal addresses.

The next transition occurred when cell phones were no longer just about making and receiving calls—you could take pictures with them and store appointments in them (and even get reminder alarms).  Oh yes, and you can store your friends addresses and e-mail addresses there too. It doesn’t “remember” as much data nor sort it with the same agility but, oh my! –it’s convenient, light weight and easy to slip into pocket or purse.

Which brings me to my current contemplation: I recently rediscovered my Palm and decided to reactivate it.  Of course with the household transitions I’ve lost the charging and syncing cables but a visit to e-bay produced replacements for those. Then a down-

load of the software program…check.  Finally, insert the USB cable and press “go”. L

Ahh…of course it is not that simple. In 2007, when the Palm was last backed up, the hardware was running Windows 98 (or it’s predecessor) and we are 2 generations of hardware beyond that.

The ultimate piece of this tale is that last night when I pressed the power button, the Palm was stone-cold dead.  That’s when I discovered a NEW “alphabet” term: SDS (Sudden Death Syndrome). Instantly gone is all of the stored data-- all of the names and telephone numbers, all of the birthdates and addresses, my crossword puzzles, my electronic copy of some book that came pre-loaded (but provided distraction during lengthy waits).  Gone! …in the twinkling of an eye.   

Now from 2007 until just recently this “toy” was in a box somewhere so there is a self-evident response to the question: Do I NEED this?  Obviously not. Either those names have morphed onto another electronic list or the people have cycled out of my daily life.

But really?!? I am experiencing a feeling of loss!  I want it BACK!

Upon processing, I imagine I’ll find several relevant “life lessons” in this experience. I awoke this morning excited to see what comment awaited me in my morning devotional. I was sure it would be pertinent.  

   TRY TO SEE THINGS more and more from My perspective. Let the Light of My Presence so fully fill your mind that you view the world through Me.  When little things don’t go as you had hoped, look to Me lightheartedly and say, “Oh, well.” This simple discipline can protect you from being burdened with an accumulation of petty cares and frustrations.  If you practice this diligently, you will make a life-changing discovery. You realize that most of the things that worry you are not important.

Ruth's Ramblings~

SO grateful for the return of cool(ER) temperatures...and energy.  Have been making some progress on my “to do” list of projects. Trying to follow my friend's suggestion and focus on one task per day to reduce the overwhelming dimension of my "elephant".  Last week it felt like the only room not filled with endless clutter was the tiny hall bathroom. (In there a full wastebasket is overload!)  

Replaced the living/dining room sheers after the window-washer’s visit (they were unbelievably sun-faded), and rehung laundered kitchen valences. The house definitely looks different without window coverings. I enjoyed a few days of “openness” without covering the windows that overlook my lanai—brought some of the greenness inside!

Plants in the backyard are now showing signs of returning to life (YAY!)...and only current magazines are on the trunk in the family room; shredded a "ton" of junk mail yesterday (and sent a bundle of “read” magazines to Arizona with Anna!) 

Speaking of magazines:  Mary Kay has a 2-page full-color ad in the October issue of Good Housekeeping and also in Seventeen.  Seventeen magazine is seeking to show that Mary Kay “isn’t your grandmothers makeup” anymore with a trendy display of “Mary Kay @ Play” products.  To become “experienced” with the product line, I tried the baked eye-shadow on Monday. I really can’t see without my glasses so it’s rather like applying product by Braille and then putting my glasses back on for evaluation. Product went on easily…  Probably need a lighter hand in application and some time to become accustomed to the new look. I’m a long way past 17!

Was a delight to spend a bit of time with my Arizona family. Derek and Anna brought their camper to San Clemente for a long weekend. Chris and Melissa drove separately. Saturday night we met at The Crab Shack to celebrate birthdays. Melissa’s actually was on the 14^th and Anna’s will be Thursday (19^th). Then I brought Nina & Lexxie home for an overnight.  Mary Lou went with me to return them on Sunday morning.

My sister Virginia often phones me on Thursday morning (about 6 am my time) as she is on her way to work.  THIS week she’ll be on a plane coming to visit!!!  She should be here for lunch tomorrow and stay through Sunday afternoon.  Of course she’s looking forward to some beach time so I’m glad our temps haven’t dropped too much.  The past couple of mornings have been “foggy” but it clears by 10’ish.

9-11

Has it been "ONLY" 12 years? I clearly remember the morning we refer to as 9-11..catching the overnight news on TV while tying on my shoes for a walk in our Mesa AZ neighborhood in the dawning light and morning cool.  The light was "yellow" and the trees were green; the sprinklers were watering the lawn across the street.

Actually I think Tom was still going to work then because it seems the house was otherwise empty. It's pretty astounding to consider all the changes in my life since then. I've morphed from being an efficient "take-charge" 50-something office manager to being a somewhat disoriented retired "older" person. 

Have you ever read a biography and observed the "ups and downs" over the course of the subject's life-span?  Within maybe a 10 year span, the fortune of life does change. I try to think about that when I'm sad...that in the normal course of things, life will bring "good" again. So, in my reflection on this past 12 years I have gone from  full-time employment to part-time support staff to retirement. I have downsized my home and many of my memories are still packed in boxes in storage. I have transitioned through the "in sickness and in health" of our wedding vows; and come out a widow. 

I wonder what life in the next decade will bring?  Will I be looking back and thinking about how good life was in 2013?

Amazing Thoughts

September 10, 2013

Excerpt from a devotional book my sister gave me last year: Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young:

ACCEPT EACH DAY exactly as it comes to you.  By that I mean not only the circumstances of your day but also the condition of your body. Your assignment is to trust Me absolutely, resting in My sovereignty and faithfulness.On some days, your circumstances and your physical condition feel out of balance. The demands on you seem far greater than your strength. Days like that present a choice between two alternatives—giving up or relying on Me. Even if you wrongly choose the first alternative, I will not reject you. You can turn to Me at any point, and I will help you crawl out of the mire of discouragement. I will infuse My strength into you moment by moment, giving you all that you need for this day. Trust Me, by relying on My empowering Presence.

Psalm 42:5  Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

 I don't believe in Chinese cookie fortunes or rely on the accuracy of astrological forecasts, but it is AMAZING how God can direct our thoughts.  This SO meets me where I am this week.

August 20, 2013

August 20, 2013

4:30 a.m.

It’s fascinating to watch the ebb and flow of life (or life style). Like the wave movement of the ocean, it’s inexorable…and yet, like a kaleidoscope, constantly shifting. Lying awake in the darkness, I was considering the changes…and how the resulting ripples affect those around us causing their kaleidoscope patterns and colors to adjust as well.

Within the past few days there have been a number of FaceBook posts as young people in friends’ families are leaving “the nest” for college. That causes a major realignment.  For a number of friends, this is “the last one” to leave home which creates a sort of vacuum (“empty nest syndrome”).  I was just contemplating what kinds of things rush in to fill the resulting space; what activities we believe we will pursue “in retirement” and the contrasting reality.

With daylight, I will look out my windows at untended flower beds and ponder what it is that so fills my hours that I am unable to achieve even the projects that bring me joy. I still have the same 24 hours in each day.  “They say” that once retired you’ll wonder how you ever found the time to work. I’d like to define what it is that I’m now doing with all that time.

Most mornings include at least an hour on the computer in my Snuggery to catch up on news of my friends and families.  THAT is something current that I didn’t do while I “had a life”.  In bygone days, we would have lunch to chat and share a few photos of the kids… whenever we could tuck in those pleasurable moments. 

The arrival of FaceBook, for me, meant an opportunity to reconnect with former school mates from the 60’s.  That has been a wonderful experience… My friend-list grew by a large number of people who share similar values and beliefs; who share their blessings and uphold one another in prayers. We are of comparable age: many posts cause me to count my blessings as I realize that not everyone has the health and resulting freedoms that I still take for granted.

Another FaceBook activity is gleaning and posting information to a group of “friends” from Church. This project started to help me keep track of prayer requests and their updates. Learning of physical needs has encouraged me to be more faithful in mailing out greeting cards and notes.  My goal is 3 per day but I suspect the overall average may be closer to one.  “Envelopes without windows” in the incoming mail are becoming more rare but I still LOVE handwritten thank-you notes and greeting cards…and believe I’m not alone. Besides, someone has to support the salaries of mail-carriers!!

Without other responsibilities preempting, by 10 a.m. Midget and I head to Via Verde for coffee with Mom.  During this past two weeks—since my return from Dallas—we have had an audiologist appointment, a vision appointment, and three dental appointments (all hers) which interfered…but we’ll get back to our rhythm.

Dallas: five days of frenetic girlfriend time.  Seminar was the 50^th Anniversary of Mary Kay celebration. Brenda and I flew down together on July 30^th.  She returned on Saturday, August 3^rd but I spent that evening with Mike & Rhonda Book visiting with Sammers & Asher; and celebrating Samantha’s 23^rd birthday with her little family.  Rhonda served Texas-style “comfort food” and it was delicious!!!

Suitcases weren’t even out of the van on Monday morning before Helpful L.O.U. drafted me to help with emptying a house.  Truth to be told, I’m sure that activity accounts for many of the “lost” hours. Even when she’s on the road and I’m at home working on my Mary Kay orders or inventory, she’ll call to recheck an address or some other little need.

Yesterday morning we unloaded the truck, picked up a dining room sideboard and took it to the warehouse; loaded two love-seats, a television and a stand…all before 9 a.m.  (My weight-training exercises. Ha!)

About 2 months ago I traded Helpful L.O.U. the two recliners in my family room for a sofa sleeper.  The intent was a direct replacement but when we brought the piece in through the front door, we realized that it looked very nice in the living room…so we moved the double-recliner sofa from the living room into the family room instead. That has worked well on all counts.  The double-recliner sofa apparently isn’t quite so comfortable for Midget with the result that if I fall asleep in the family room, she takes herself off to find a cozy spot elsewhere (also good for me since she’s less likely to disturb my rest).

The inaugural use of the sofa-sleeper occurred on July 29^th during a visit from my nephew David and his family.  The dates of their visit (from Indiana) coincided with the time I was scheduled to be in Dallas for Seminar, so we arranged for them to stay in my house. I’m fairly certain that the sofa-sleeper, although used, had never before been slept on since we had quite a struggle getting it to fully open.

It’s fully daylight now, but with coastal eddy laying in here, the sun won’t come “up” for another hour or more.  These foggy, gray starts and accompanying moisture are good for vegetation…my roses are doing well.  By 9-ish, the sun burns through and the afternoons are warm.  It’s “hot” if you’re doing physical activity outdoors, but overall, the house stays temperate and hasn’t required supplemental cooling.

Some of my former FaceBook friends have dropped off for an assortment of personal reasons.  In an effort to not lose contact with them, I’m going to TRY to write and email an “Update” oftener than “annually”.  Hope this finds you doing well and preparing for an awesome autumn.  

In memory of Tom...

whose 74th birthday would be next Sunday (August 25th) followed on the 31st by our 39th wedding anniversary.